When Travel Plans Fall Through

Cancer New Moon reflections about my 'almost trip' to my Mercury AS line.

Oof. Guys, I was so hoping to be able to write a different kind of post for you, with regards to a planned trip abroad that I was very excited about.

I had started it multiple times, each time inspired to talk about my pre-trip thoughts and feelings. But the situation kept changing. The first version was from the angle of feeling some fear to travel again and the reasons why, although I adore travel and I’ve got quite a lot of travel experience under my belt.

The second version I attempted, was going to be about finding the courage to travel again and how to overcome fears that may pop up. I was feeling braver and more ready for my trip, and I wanted to repurpose a post from my old travel blog and incorporate my thoughts back then, with my current situation. I may still repurpose that old post, but without the references to this current travel story.

I was also hoping to write about my trip and the experience I had, from the lens of AstroCartography. I have a mini series where I discuss how each of my international experiences has aided my personal development, from the lens of my astrocartography map.

But, alas, it wasn’t meant to be. I had gotten an email that flights on my dates might be cancelled. And sure enough, a couple of weeks later I was told that they’re officially cancelled and flights won’t be returning until after the summer. I’ve just been noted that I’m receiving a full refund for my flights. Fortunately, I hadn’t paid for anything else yet, either.

I won’t get into why my trip was cancelled. That’s a whole other post onto itself, which I don't feel ready or comfortable to talk about. But I will talk about why I think it’s actually okay when trips get cancelled and how I’m making sense of it for me personally.

Photo by Liam McKay on Unsplash

My Travel Plans (& Intentions)

I was planning to go to Portugal, where I have my Mercury Ascendant line. The same line I was born on, but without that ultra-challenging and depressing Saturn IC line, that I was also born on.

I was excited to walk everywhere, exploring the architecture and cafe culture of Porto. I was excited to take a Fado music lesson with a local musician in Lisbon, and perhaps a Pastel de Nata baking class too.

But mostly, I was excited to meet new people, network, promote my debut novel some more and write a ton. Or rather, figure out the next phase of my writing life.

I have quite a few writing projects that I would love to get working on, but I felt I really needed some extra energy to get running. The problem also was, that I didn’t know which direction to start running to.

• To the second novel idea that was born from a vivid dream I had, over 10 years ago? I have the characters and the general plot, but I’m still struggling to figure out specific beats and much more research will need to be done. Can I take this multi-year project on?

• To the essay collection centring around the themes of travel, belonging, culture and identity, that’s 75% finished? But a lot of what I wrote doesn’t feel resonant to me anymore. How would I reword those pieces? And should I maybe publish those essays here on Substack?

• To the second newsletter idea of sharing my experience and expertise as an alternative music teacher? I was meaning to share on the topic of music education, educational philosophies and my professional insights here on Wide Eyed Ella. Yet, it seems to be needing its own newsletter with its own voice. Could I handle two newsletters?

• On that note - should I run to the direction of finally becoming a music therapist, like my original dream from 8 years ago? I still have some psychology courses I need to complete, in order to be eligible to apply for my masters. Is that where I want to take my career? Mercury is also about study and education. Would it help me to know whether to pursue these studies?

• Or should I run to that third newsletter idea, who’s essence is from a separate idea I had had, also from over 10 years ago? I had forgotten about it for many years, but it suddenly feels relevant again and much more doable, now that I’m on Substack. And since it’s much more collaborative in nature, should I maybe pitch the idea to you guys and see what you think? Can I even take that big vision on, even if other people are on board and the universe is behind it? How would I structure and start it? I’m not interested in forcing a big vision into reality again. Lesson learned the first time.

Ah… the ever-flowing ideas and never-ending questions that come from a Mercury Ascendant person.

Photo by Ahmed Sobah on Unsplash

I wanted to visit the Mercury AS to give me some clarity.

Especially as the astrological transits were going to be really interesting for the dates of my trip.

Jupiter in my 9th house of Cancer, will be trining my natal Mercury and Ascendant in Scorpio, exactly. I was hoping this would give me luck and expansion with promoting The Source of The Wind. As well as luck and expansion in the many writing projects that I’m thinking of undertaking.

Mercury retrograde in my 10th house of Leo, will be squaring my natal Mercury (which is also retrograde) and Ascendant in Scorpio, exactly. I was hoping this would help me reflect on how to solve the various problems I’m struggling with, in regards to those writing projects. Especially as all of these ideas have been in the back of my mind for years now. I was prepared for some exciting tension, catalysing me to the right direction or to the right ideas for my array of projects.

I was also hoping to journal and set intentions on the new moon in my 10th house of Leo, helping me to follow the direction(s) that intuitively felt correct.

With Mercury being my profection ruler this year¹ , Mercury is extra emphasised and I wanted to take advantage of that and all of these interesting transits, to go to my Mercury Ascendant line. I’ve been thinking and enacting on Mercury themes a ton since my birthday. (I actually started this newsletter, about a couple of weeks into Mercury being my profection ruler.)

But maybe it’s okay that I won’t be on that Mercury AS line.

To be truthful, although I was very excited about travelling again, I wanted to make this trip work and I really needed a break - with everything that we’ve been experiencing here in my region of the world, it did feel a bit… wonky, to be going abroad.

There would be fears that I’d need to manage, that I wouldn’t have had to as much when tensions around some of my identities aren’t as high. Alongside my desire to be in the world and meet new people, I feel a need to stay and support my loved ones during this time.

And this summer in particular, with moving apartments and trying to start a family (😊), life is going to be pretty busy already. Without adding an international trip into the mix.

And maybe it’s doubly okay that I won’t be on my Mercury Ascendant line, because I don’t actually need to be on it.

Those astrological transits are still affecting me, regardless of where I am in the world.

I am in a Mercury profection year, which is already amping up for me the Mercury energy and transits for this year, as it is.

And maybe it would actually be to my detriment to be on my Mercury line at this time. I mean, as a Mercury retrograde person, I love the mental clarity I seem to get during this much feared period. But do I really want to travel during a Mercury retrograde period that’s squaring my natal Mercury? Errr… no. Maybe not.

I’m also questioning the need for me to be on that line right now, because I’m finding that some of my intentions are already coming into fruition.

• I realised that if I’m not travelling abroad this summer, I probably would like to sign up to one of the three remaining psychology courses for the summer semester. I even know which one I’ll start with. Based on how that goes, I’ll sign up for the final two during the next two semesters.

• Slowly but surely, I have already begun networking with fellow indie authors and reviewers, making new friends and learning more about how to spread the word about my novel. I feel the small snowball beginning to make its way down the hill and it’s a good feeling.

• I’m very seriously thinking about starting that second newsletter about music education and my work as an alternative teacher. Ideas for posts have been forming, I can feel the tone of my words and the energy seems to be coming my way for me to start. Without committing to anything just yet - I may even launch it on that Leo New Moon, which is in my tenth house of career and professional reputation. I don’t know if I can commit to a schedule, but I like the idea of at least starting.

• I’m even very seriously thinking about that third newsletter, the collaborative one. I was listening just now to a Cancer New Moon meditation (this post is being published on the Cancer New Moon) from my friend and fellow Substacker Maria, and the desire that kept coming up, was the want to start this collaborative newsletter. So maybe you’ll receive an email from me about it soon? No promises lol.

These are just some of the ways my Mercury Ascendant intentions are already coming into fruition. I reckon that when these transits start making their direct aspects to my chart, I’ll feel the energy I want to feel even more and more of my intentions and questions will start finding their footing.

Photo by Ivan Rohovchenko on Unsplash

So what am I really saying here?

It sucks when travel plans fall through.

I was really looking forward to this trip - especially as it’s been a while since I’ve been abroad, I always grow and develop as a person as a result of international travel, and it will likely be some time before I’ll have another opportunity.

But if I was hoping for an expansion of my consciousness as a result of being abroad, that intention can still be fulfilled while being at home. If I was hoping for certain energies to support me in my goals and help me answer my questions, I can still create the space for them and invite them into my life.

And maybe this time, it’s actually preferable for me to stay at home. I will always love being out in the world and I wouldn’t trade the growth I’ve had from my many experiences abroad for anything.

But maybe it’s time that I learn how to give myself the expansion I crave and have always found abroad, whilst being at home. Home is meant to be beautiful and supportive, after all.² (Transiting Jupiter and New Moon in the 9th house of Cancer, anyone? 😉 )

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Have you ever had a trip cancelled and how did you feel about it? Did it end up being for your benefit? How is\was Jupiter in Cancer and the Cancer New Moon treating you? Let me know in the comments below!

My debut novel “The Source of The Wind” is out! An uplifting, women’s fiction, that talks about difficult topics with a spiritual and magical twist 😉. Click “Books” if you want to find out more and choose where you’d prefer to purchase a copy. (Available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Bookshop, Waterstones & more.)

Books

Speak soon,

Love, Ella x

1. Profection year = the house\area of life, that gets extra emphasis for you this year. When you’re 31 years old, as I am currently, your 8th house is emphasised. For me, Gemini is my 8th house and Mercury is the ruler of Gemini. Therefore, Mercury is my profection ruler for this year. If your 8th house is Sagittarius, for example, then Jupiter would be your profection ruler for the age of 31 years old.

2. Literally the day before the full moon, there was a Jupiter-Sun cazimi (when the Sun and a planet are fused together) in Cancer, and it was considered to be the luckiest day of the year. My wife and I literally signed the lease of our new apartment that day, and we’re both feeling very good about our new place.